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Okay. I need to get my act together and keep it there. None of this. Bah.

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to repost. We can all make stuff!!

Mmm. New years eve was phenomenal. Actually all week was spectacular really, except a few scary hours the other night. Going to Sag Harbor to visit Deb was a good idea. I am down with 2009 so far. I can't believe it's 200freakin9.

Happy New Year everyone!

What an astoundingly interesting and uncomfortable situation has arisen. I am officially part of a love polygon. The only thing I can equate it to feeling like is that one of my legs is gangrenous and it needs to be cut off, but right now there is no one around with the tools or capabilities to do it, so it's just sitting there festering and I have to deal with it until I get out of Alfred. But I actually really don't know how it's all going to end up. It's like an art student soap opera, only with a lot less dramatic dialogue, and a lot more unclear hanging-out situations.

I'm thinking New Orleans would be a cool place to go to grad school. Tulane University sounds really reeeally sweet (if I can get in... ha). It's pretty selective, BUT all of the graduate MFA students it accepts recieve a full assistantship which includes a tuition waiver as well as a $13,000 stipend per year. AAaaand it has an amaaazing hot shop and I would get my own studio space to work in, although I don't know if they have any torches for lampworking but.

Yeah, I'd probably need a pretty kickass portfolio to have any sort of chance, but I can dream.

I really reeeeeally want several pairs of Doc Martens. Ever since I wrote that research paper on them last semester for Design & Culture I've thought they are the coolest boots ever. Because they totally are. And I've been wanting them ever since and torturing myself by gazing at them and their out-of-my-price-range prices online... Gah. Maybe in a couple pay checks I'll be able to afford a pair!

I need Halloween costume ideas ASAP.

I can never think of anything, and I usually end up rooting through my closet until I find enough stuff that could maybe vaguely resemble a costume but I always end up feeling laaaame.

So anyone have any ideas??

All of my technology is SO annoying. I just bought more RAM for my computer and what did it do? It made it so that my computer isn't angry-sounding with its fan going all the time. Did it make it faster? Maybe slightly. Did it make it able to play music or any type of media without skipping? Hah, NO. Of course not.

My mp3 player doesn't run on iTunes, but instead on Best Buy's knockoff of it called Rhapsody which just sucks as a program anyway because half the time it "doesn't allow that file type" or just plain ignores my commands to put files in my library, but on top of that my mp3 player freaks out sometimes and the screen goes funny and sometimes it stops right in the middle of a song and goes on to the next one. Also it only has a gig of space which gives me about 600 songs... not remotely the number that I would like to have, since it is my only way to play music since my computer can't handle it. So basically my computer is only good for the internet, which is still suuuper slow and lags like crazy, and I have pretty much no way of obtaining or playing music except for what I've already put on my mp3 player.

Anyone wanna get me presents? Ha... aiwl3uegbriauw3beurygvbalwgyeo12u3tgr

Christine has been incredibly excited for today because of her plans to make spicy black bean soup. We're having some people over to help us eat it because there is going to be an assload of it. I'm just posting to tell you how increasingly excited I am about this soup right now, because she is in the process of making it and the apartment is smelling better and better and BETTER...

Yay healthy delicious black bean soup!

Intense year so far.
Like whoa.
Keep the car running.

"Rather than love,
than money,
than faith,
than fame,
than fairness -

Give me truth."

I have to keep telling myself that no one knows what is best for me except ME. My dad seems so opressive and negative sometimes, and perhaps he'd call it being a realist or something, but it gets me really frustrated and upset sometimes due to the fact that I'm still financially dependent on him. I told him what my paycheck was today and he responds "...is that good?" in a sort of snarky tone. I was really proud too, because I made 500 bucks in six days. For me, yes, that's good... could you not tell by the tone in which I stated it? Was it out of the question to sound supportive of my efforts in the least? Hey, I went out and I got a job of my own volition so that maybe that would be 500 dollars less he would have to pay for something or other.

I feel like deep down he wishes I weren't going to art school. I am unbelievably happier when I'm away from all this and in Alfred with people who give a shit what I'm doing artistically, and more importantly, how I'm doing emotionally (although now that Elaine's here it's slightly easier to deal with).

The whole conventional, conservative, Christian, Republican, good-clean-fun, do-the-right-thing, "fiscal responsibility" deal is starting to make me realize the reasons why I was constantly so depressed in high school... and part of the reason I have such a problem believing in myself and my abilities.

So I think I've learned that what I think I want isn't always what will make me happiest.

This seems weird to me. How am I supposed to decipher what I actually want from what I think I want?

Maybe I just have to live and learn and wait and see and all that. Experience things.

But man, I still want it. I want it back. What is it that I want anyway? What do I want back? If it didn't make me happy why do I want it back?

Or did it make me happy? Or could it have possibly made me happy after identifying what it was that wasn't working? And would it have been worth it anyway?

Eh.

To Pittsburgh!
:)

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Happy New Year to all.


Countdowns:

Pittsburgh in roughly four days, give or take one or two depending on when Bill decides he can leave.

Aaaand school starts again on the 22nd of January, which means I'll probably be heading back sometime within the preceeding week. Time to finish up my junior year of college... a scary thought...

People leave tomorrow. Boo.

And I think I'll throw in: my 21st birthday happens this coming August 14th. I'm a little stoked.

That's all.
Sleep well, western hemisphere. :) Happy holidays.

Heh...

:)